Parenting 111

2006-10-12T15:25:00.000-07:00

Kelby is getting too cool for his four year old britches. Andi had him in the checkout line at Target, when a little girl about his age also in line started sing-songing "I love my Mommy!" over and over. Andi noticed Kelb had a look of disdain on his face, so she asked him what was wrong. No answer, just another look. As they were leaving, Andi asked him again. Kelby, nodding towards the girl, says "That's so lame." Later he told me he didn't like "lamers". I'm not sure I'll be able to live with him when he turns five.

We have another mystery in our family. Someone cut a big chunk out of Kyler's bangs. It must have been the invisible man, because no one knows what happened. Now one would think that if a big chunk of hair was cut from two inches above your eyes, you may catch a glimpse of the culprit... But alas. We are stumped. We are also missing a pair of scissors.

2006-09-13T05:45:00.000-07:00

Here is a story on how not to buy cats.

First of all, do not buy cats (kittens but they will be cats soon enough) that are free. Oh, it seems like a good deal but free is only an illusion. Grey kitty (no names yet) was a "free" cat. Andi really wanted a cat, not so much a kitten but more so a cat that lays around the house instead of tearing up the house. So she got a "free" kitten that she found advertised in the paper. Without so much as shutting off the engine, she dropped the kitten off at the house and proceeded to go out and buy $150 worth of kitten supplies. You know, a litter box, a scratching post/cat pedestal, kitty litter, kitty food, kitty litter liners, and a collar with a bell so we can hear him moving around. "Free" cat aka "grey kitty" has now ran up a bill of $150.

So Andi calls me upstairs to help pick out a name for grey kitty as she is googling kitty names on her computer. A half an hour or so later I go downstairs to see the kitchen door wide open to the garage, the garage door open and no grey kitty to be seen. Kelby has never seen a door that looks better closed than open. A mad dash around the house nets nothing. Searching more carefully still comes up short. We send our 8 year old and 5 year old around both blocks on bikes to search as it is now about a half hour from darkness as we more carefully search the house. I take Coco, our lab, through the house thinking she will sniff him out. Nothing on both accounts. I go around the block and ask a neighbor on the other side if she has seen a grey kitty. "You are the third person to ask" I'm told, so the kids are doing their job. Desperation sets in as it begins to get dark, a kitty that has only been in our house about two hours total and is six weeks old has gone AWL. Soon it is dark, time for bed for the kids and no grey kitty. The kids go to bed crying and praying for the grey kitty. I'm thinking I hope it never has to catch his own food with that bell around his neck. Good luck sneaking up on prey with that.

Andi then makes a decision. She decides that she is going to have a kitten regardless, and that another kitten will make the kids (and herself) feel better about loosing the first one. I warn her that it may be prudent to wait over night to see if grey kitty comes back, but I'm out voted 1 to 1. She brings back a nice 7 week old black kitty from the pet store, currently named "black kitty", that cost $40. $40 nets a kitty that has his first vaccinations. But a half hour later she says that getting black kitty really didn't make her feel better like she thought it would. She goes to bed, and I'm up working on the computer with new replacement kitty in the office. I hear a bell jingle behind us, and out from under a printer stand comes grey kitty stretching his legs like he just took the best cap nap ever.

Running total... 2 cats... $190. Vet day to get a checkup on grey kitty. Grey kitty has ear mites, gave them to black kitty and now we have to also treat the dog. A check for some feline virus, worming and vaccinations results in a $270 vet bill. "Free" kitty(s) now have ran up a bill of $460. We still have vaccinations for black kitty, and then another $360 for neutering and declawing which should get us close to a thousand bucks by the time we are done, all for a "free kitty". So the kids are happy, Andi is happy and I'm a bit stunned. To top it off, one of them pooped in my Chicago Bears cap. If I can figure out which one it was, I may send a bill.

2006-09-13T05:27:00.000-07:00

Kyler decided to sell Slushies near the street after he defied orders and bought a Sponge Bob slushie maker at a garage sale down the street. He snuck out of the house with his piggy bank after they had already bought army men. I should have confiscated it at that point, but I'm a softie.

Besides, selling slushies was a good idea and I didn't want to squash my budding entrepreneur. I think the bee's were the kids biggest customers and in about five minutes they had two trapped under glasses. Seeing furious bees in clear glasses trying to get out probably didn't help sales. I bought the first slushie, then I sent Kelby out with a quarter to buy the second one. I think we were his only customers. Then Kiefer came in so I offered a quarter to him to go buy a slushie. After all, we can' t have a five year old's first business crash and burn in two hours, can we? Kiefer says, "I already bought one." I said, "So you took a quarter and gave it to Kyler on your own?" thinking, wow, he is finally being unselfish and trying to help his brother out by giving up a quarter of his own. Kiefer says "yes Dad." So I tell him he did a good thing and he should be proud. "Thanks Dad" Kiefer says as he is running out the door. Just before the door slams I hear "Oh, I got the quarter from your truck!"

2006-08-31T14:46:00.000-07:00

School days are here. Kiefer and Kelby are enjoying their time in school, being the social networking kids that they are. Kelby asks "Why did you pick me up so early?" at 3pm. So it would seem that school days are welcome in our home.

But, alas, things never seem to go so smoothly. Kyler asked "How many days of school are left, anyway?" on day three... OF KINDERGARDEN! About 3.2 million, kid. Andi sent me to school on the first day with a camera to get a picture of each boy with his teacher. I did happen to notice that I was the only parent toting a camera and getting pictures. Oh well, it was worth it. Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words.

2006-08-08T19:45:00.000-07:00

Grandpa Ron and I took the kids fishing for walleye. I caught the first fish, which I released to the protests of all in the boat. I've adopted a new rule, if I catch it, I can release it. Here is a 4mb video of Kyler deciding almost before the poor fish gets into the boat. Kyler's video

This same kid also announced to us that he could mind read. Of course his eight year old brother jumped all over that. So Kyler said, "I know what you are thinking right now." Kiefer said "OH Yea?" "Yes, you are thinking that I can't read your mind" BAM! to which Kiefer has another fit. So Kyler announces again "I know what you are thinking now." Never one to learn the first time, Kiefer bites. "You are thinking that your brother is a jerk!" I think I'll call him Carnack.

2006-07-26T20:21:00.000-07:00

I decided to keep up the blog for us as well as having quite a few requests not to drop it, so I thought this would be a good time to catch up on the first years with the kids.

Oh, Kiefer and Kelby had birthdays this month, so they are 8 and 4 while Kyler is 5 1/2. They were back at their grandparents this week. They met a cousin of theirs, Larry, who is a principal at the local school. Larry told them that if their grandmother gave them a hard time while they were up staying with her, they should just give him a call and he would "take care of it". Listening intently was Kyler who immediately asks "What's your number???"

2006-06-26T17:05:00.000-07:00

We want to give a thanks to these people:
Derald for spending his afternoon with us.
Cal and Martha for being great hosts. We enjoyed our late night talks with Cal and were able to come and go as if we were at home.
Kerry for coming over to visit with us, and Kim and Sue for having us out to their house for a grill out.
Vernon and Donna for having us over for Dinner, and Donna for organizing a get together for us at Der Dutchman.
Sheila and her kids for coming and spending their evening visiting with us.
Eileen and Greg, and Anita and Wendy for having dinner with us.
Doug and Marilyn for hosting us, and another thank you goes to Marilyn for cooking us supper that we were not expecting.
and last but not least, Jerry and Nancy for letting us stay over and taking us out to a great Mexican restaurant. It was nice meeting them for the first time.

Travel Tips:
DVD Players for vehicles are worth their weight in gold. Ours was is a two screen with 4 audio jacks. The kids had $5 headphones that they plugged in so we could listen to music while they watched movies.
Most state visitor centers have travel coupons for up to $20 off certain hotels. We'd try to get them, then call ahead for availability and book the rooms even though most of the coupons said you couldn't call and reserve.
Verizon's native network is very good. We could dial into them for data and use mapquest.com or publish the blog. But outside of their network it was very spotty. The gulf states had very good coverage, as well as North Dakota. Large parts of Ky, TN, GA, OK, KS left us without data and sometimes without digital cell coverage at all.
Forget the 12v fridge. We usually all wanted something different to drink each time we stopped. If we didn't haul it into the hotel room, it would take most of the day to cool down the drinks. If we forgot to unplug it, it would drain the battery dead. and it took up valuable space.

Summary:
We traveled 5172 miles and used 235 gallons of gas for a 22.2 mpg rate. Our average speed was 45.3mph, but that included idling for maybe 4 hours while someone shopped, or used the bathroom while the A/C ran.

Thanks to Andi for putting up with me for 5,100 miles and the ribbing I gave her in the blog. Thanks Honey!

Did we ever find Mexiyellico? You be the judge.

2006-06-26T17:03:00.000-07:00

It is the final day. I'm typing this up, Kelby is driving and Andi is taking a break. Oh, it's ok because he has a Power Wheels. I'd have the older boys drive, but Kelb is the only one who will fit between me and the steering wheel...

Last evening we finally seen temps in the 70's, actually 72. We had not seen that since KY.

We are all on edge and ready for this trip to be over with, except Kelby. Now he doesn't want to go back home.

Here are some things we learned...
Southern hospitality lives on... Andi was sent to the beginning of the checkout line at a convenience store because she is a woman.
Texans do not live in the south, they live in Texas.
In Florida, Sarasota anyway, they have summer daily rains which happen at about 4pm. It will rain for a little while, then stop. The air just gets too humid and it rains.
We seen two alligator carcasses on the highway. We didn't realize they had alligator roadkill.

2006-06-24T21:38:00.000-07:00

After staying with friends in Madisonville, TX and enjoying their company, we headed out again to put the final two days in. This will be our longest day on the road so far, getting us from one hour north of Houston to Topeka, KS. It is refreshing to see prairie again. Another 700 miles of it should cure that.

A funny thing happened along here. We ate donuts for breakfast, and McDs for lunch. The next time Kiefer wanted Crispy Cream donuts for a snack. Well, we decided that we needed to draw a line somewhere, so we drew it right in front of the Crispy Cream shop. As we were leaving, Kiefer was complaining so I told him he should eat an orange instead. Kelby started sing-songing "I want an orange, I want an orange." I asked Kiefer to get him an orange out of a bag in the back of the van. After a half hearted try, he said it was too difficult. I asked him again, but it was just too much work. So I told him he could have any Crispy Cream donuts he could find. All of a sudden he had Herculean strength, and was moving the largest of bags with ease, and Kelby got his orange. It was kind of a dirty trick, but he had it coming, especially after pulling the same stunt the day before. I think we lost his vote for "Parents of the Year".

We may have lost Kelby's also. He said, "Is anyone ever going to buy me strawberries on this trip?"

Here is a pic from back at Disney with the fireworks.

2006-06-24T21:37:00.000-07:00

Leaving New Orleans we found a place that the kids could hold a live alligator. It was a 2 1/2 year old gator, and of course the boys loved it.

We were too late to see much of NASA, so we found a hotel and stayed over. The we "swam" in the pool. Kiefer, after floating for 20 seconds in the gulf all by himself and making good progress in his goal to learn how to swim, managed to float almost a full second here. Kelby will pass them both if this continues.
The next morning at NASA we seen a Saturn V rocket, the old Mission Control, and the training building where the astronauts train on a full sized shuttle orbiter and full sized space station modules. They had a play center for the kids like at a McDonalds except it is about 10 times larger with multiple exits. Great for kids, a nightmare for parents trying to extract the kids.

2006-06-22T10:11:00.000-07:00

The hotel we stayed at in the French Quarter was the nicest hotel we have stayed in by far, and was the least expensive. It must have to do with tourism being down. It was one of those hotels that kids shouldn't even be allowed in, especially ours. Our waterproof luggage bag was ripped as we drove into the parking garage. We ate cajun food, then walked around looking in the little shops in that area.

We were sitting on a curb waiting for Andi to come out of a shop, and the boys found a large cockroach. It almost ran up my shorts which got me up in a hurry. Then they lost it for a bit. Kiefer found it again and stomped near it which got it moving again, and they can move! It headed for Kyler who screamed a bit and tried to move out of its way. The cockroach curved and kept heading right towards him, which prompted a very loud scream. People were looking at us and Kyler was dancing trying to get out of the way.

It was a fun time, but once it got dark it wasn't a place for kids, so we headed back to the hotel.
Damage from Katrina was evident all over. It reminded me of Grand Forks did a few weeks after the flood. Flooded cars were stashed under the the interstate bridges, and garbage was stacked on the curb in places, Roofs blown partially off and such. The fact that it is 10 months after is staggering. FEMA trailers are abundant, and most local new stories are about building permits, FEMA forms, debris removal and crime in flood damaged areas. However, overall our experience in the Big Easy was a very good one.

2006-06-22T09:33:00.000-07:00

From Tallahassee, we went south west to Destin, Fl on the gulf. This town is booming like no other we have seen yet. I counted about eight huge 20-30 story resort and condo's being built in different areas. We then seen a historic factory outlet built way back in the spring of 2005. Admission was free, but they still got our money. The kids almost caused a mutiny, but order was finally restored.

We stayed in Mobile, Al then took in the USS Alabama battleship and the USS Drum submarine. Both served extensively in WWII. The aircraft hangar and the planes inside suffered extensive damage from hurricane Katrina. In fact, the battleship was used as a hurricane refuge for 18 families during Katrina. We were not able to get up close to the planes, which included a Blackbird, Corsair, Mustang, Hornet, and Eagle.

From there we headed back along the coast. We tried driving US90, but too many bridges are still out. The bridge on I-10 had temporary iron sections put in on the concrete bridge. We booked a room in the French Quarter of New Orleans. Now we just need to get in there. Traffic is totally blocked, and we have moved about 300 yards in the last half hour. We did see a dead alligator alongside the road. When I got out to see what was going on, which turned out to be an accident, the lady behind us said with a smile, "Welcome to New Orleans". The accident was two Nissan Titans and a Dodge Hemi Ram, with one Titan and the Dodge totalled and the other Titan perhaps not totalled but quite a bit of damage.

2006-06-20T10:02:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we said our goodbyes and drove through Longboat Key on our way up to St. Pete and then Tallahassee. We stopped at a small beach called Coconut Beach. Andi was looking for shells and found a nice one she wanted to keep. She picked it up, looked inside, screeched and threw it towards us. Inside was a hermit crab. When we put him in the water, he would come partially out and try crawling back to the rocks with his shell. Andi still wanted the shell sans crab, so I'd let him get going, then try to jerk the shell away from him, but he was much quicker than I as he always made it back inside. Kyler wanted to keep it, of course but we talked him out of it. His efforts to catch a gecko having failed so far, except for the dead on he managed to "catch", he still wanted some pet to come back with us. At least he hasn't tried sneaking a critter into the car yet.

On the road up to Tallahassee we seen an alligator, an armadillo, and quite a few shacks on stilts. I should mention back in Kentucky, Andi was told she sounded like the movie "Fargo". I said she should have told him that he sounded like the movie "Deliverance". My cousin said, "That will make you friends." I bet. She gets that where ever she goes.

2006-06-18T19:59:00.000-07:00

The Sarasota part of our vacation is coming to an end. Andi's grandparents have been wonderful hosts. The kids have had a blast getting to know them better.

We spent the afternoon at another cousins home and had a good time. The kids swam in their pool until the 4 o'clock rain hit. I guess here in the summer it tends to rain daily at about 4pm. Yesterday and today it hit at 4:20pm. It is because with the humidity in the air it just builds each day until it has to rain, and that usually happens in the late afternoon.

We went back to Siesta to watch the sunset. There was some type of calypso music being played on the beach with a live band and a bonfire... and no, the kids did not start it. A pelican was diving for fish near us, and I seen a few fish, one skipping across the top of the water near Kelby. On the way out, I asked Kelb if he seen the fish. He didn't, and he wanted to know if it had bit him. Kiefer tells him "Yes he did and he bit one of your toes off." So Kelby starts checking his toes to see if they were still there. He is so cute when he takes after his mom.

2006-06-18T06:15:00.000-07:00

Back to the beach again yesterday. Siesta has 98% quartz white sand which feels like you are walking in flour. The beach decends very slowly into the Gulf. I was about 100 yards from shore and still standing on the bottom. I swam about 20 yards out further and found a sand bar some others were on, which was only a bit over waist deep again. The kids could go quite a ways out without worrying about suddenly going over their heads. Here is Kiefer about 60 yards out.

Here is Andi's view of the beach...

but this is what it actually looks like.

Here is one of Kyler at Turtle Beach, which is quite a bit steeper.

The kids could only go out about 12 feet, compared to maybe 150 feet at Siesta. Today she hit some of the shops on the key while we are at the beach. She had a blast, but I must say it is much cheaper to swim. Later the boys each bought a sharks tooth necklace. Then we had bought homemade ice cream and took a nice drive around Blackburn Key. Andi conceded she would be willing to give up North Dakota and live in one of the 4 million dollar homes. I told her that her $10k in her 401k would only buy 8 palm trees..... which is actually true as my uncle was offered $1200 for the palm tree in his front yard, plus they would replace it with a 6 foot one. His is probably 25 feet tall, but my aunt would not let him do it. Housing prices have doubled in three years here, so that $4mil house would have been only $2mil 3 years ago. But the kids still want a rocket so they can go to the moon, so we probably couldn't have afforded it anyway.

2006-06-17T04:24:00.000-07:00

Wednesday finds us in Orlando standing in lines. Standing in line to get on the parking lot train, standing in line to get in the ferry boat or monorail to get to the Magic Kingdom, standing in line to get $300 worth of tickets, standing in line for 105 minutes for a 2 minute ride in 94 degree heat. It was two minutes because I timed it. I probably should have paid more attention to the ride during that two minutes, but at that point it was already a bad experience. We then started using the Fast Passes, and that helped along with seeing a few less popular attractions. Back to the hotel at midnight.

Thursday we decided that was enough of Orlando for this decade. So we headed to Sarasota, but stopped in at Tampa first to see a cousin and his 1880 3 story house. From the widow's peak on top the house we could see Tampa Bay. It was pretty cool. We then took the Sunshine Skyway bridge to Sarasota. As we came up to the Skyway there was a toll booth. I told Andi "$22". She says "Really?" then starts scrambling for money to get it in time, which was quite funny as I had the dollar we actually needed in my hand ready to go.

Friday we went to the beaches, then to my uncles house for dinner. The beaches are awesome and the kids had a blast. One of them found a sharks tooth. I was out about a 100 yards from shore at Siesta and still able to touch bottom. Such a nice gradual slope, and the sand is white and powder fine. A second beach we hit, Turtle, was more shells than sand.

Today we are going to an Amish restaurant for breakfast to eat mush, then dinner this evening for who knows what. I remember my mom making mush as a young Amish boy growing up, plowing fields with my team of horses. Didn't like farming, so I decided to work at an Amish TV Station. Wait, I wasn't Amish...

2006-06-13T17:57:00.000-07:00

This morning we took in Ruby Falls and Lookout Mountain in Chattanooga. Ruby Falls is basically a waterfall inside a mountain, which is cool but fake drama leading up to it is a bit much. The memorial park on top Lookout Mountain interested me more. A huge memorial for the New York regiments detailed the battle but I didn't have time to read it. I would have rather gone to the Chicamauggua battlefield and national cemetary, but this was pretty good. We took our pictures the same place the civil war soldiers did. Kiefer thinks it was a good idea all the steps were there for the soldiers to go up. Kelby gives us our usual big grin. Can we mail him back?

To all those who think I am nuts for putting 4 sugars in my iced tea, in Atlanta when I ordered an iced tea, the question was "sweet tea"? I did not need to add sugar as it was perfect! which translates to "sweet enough to rot your teeth". I also haven't seen raspberry iced tea which is ok with me.

Right now we are driving through the remnants of tropical storm Alberto. I"m sure glad that cargo bag is waterproof. Every time we stop Kelb thinks we are at Disneyworld. Hopefully tomorrow.

2006-06-12T20:00:00.000-07:00

I am starting to think we live in the most bug infested state there is. Driving from Grand Forks to Louisville accumulated almost no bugs on the van. What few there were probably came from the trip to Fargo. I cleaned the windshield in Louisville for no apparent reason at all because there was virtually nothing on it. I couldn't tell it was any cleaner after I finished... and this is after driving all evening into the dark in rural Indiana on two lane roads that were narrower than a single lane of interstate.

They say ND is a friendly state. I'd say Ky and Tennessee are just as, if not more so. Everyone is so courteous. I swear the stop lights are slower, they seem to stay green much longer. Several times I thought I'd be running a yellow or maybe red, but no... it just stays green.

Kiefer thinks we crossed the Nile, Kyler thinks we are driving around so he can watch movies. "It's over!" "Press Play!" and Kelby still either wants to go home, or to DisneyWorld.... if we could please make up our minds...

2006-06-11T21:47:00.000-07:00

Gary, Indiana is where we stayed last night. What we seen of Gary was very nice. Except for the one hotel we stayed at. I didn't think it was too bad, but Andi was not happy. I won't make that mistake again. We found a Sams Club to get a new battery installed since ours I believe is the 2001 OEM. They refuse to install it because it is on their "30 minutes or longer installation" vehicle list. I bought a portable battery booster instead, as I don't trust myself to unplug the cooler each night anyway. Kelby kept bugging us about Disney World. "Dad, how long is it to Disney World?" Finally I said "Six". Not six minutes, hours or anything, just six to see what he said. "Oh no, not that long". We seen Bridgeton's covered bridge, built in 1867. Then took backroads to Louisville. By the time we got to Louisville, all thoughts of taking back roads from Louisville to Chattanooga had vanished as we had gotten our fill of back road Kentucky in Indiana. In fact that lower section they were dubbing Kentuckiana. Here is a pic of Kelby enjoying the Sears Tower.

2006-06-10T21:26:00.000-07:00

Today started out with a bang. Or lack there of I should say. According to the tow truck guy, the number one service call they have to hotels is dead batteries due to people leaving their 12v coolers running. Enter us into that stat.... $55 later.

Chicago is awesome like always. We took in the Field Museum, and then headed for the Sears Tower. Andi was driving because I didn't have much faith in her map reading skills. Turns out I can't even read the map with my contacts in. I guess I need a large print map or lasiks. Good grief. We ended up crusing down Wacker Dr because I knew it went by the tower, but couldn't remember any other streets it was near. Since Wacker is underground, it is kind of hard to get your bearings. We pop up onto ground level and there we are, right in front of the Sears Tower. Find a street parking spot, and all is great.

Chicago pizza, nice drive out finds us staying in Gary, IN.

2006-06-09T21:31:00.002-07:00

Coco, our 6 month old chocolate lab, goes to the neighbors for the duration of the big trip. She'll be passed through three different houses to spread the misery. She's a stubborn mutt, refusing to sit unless I take a step towards her... not a non-menacing step because that won't work, but rather one menacing step and she sits like it was her will all along. I put a cone on her head, not to keep her from scratching but rather to gather more sound waves so she can hear me better.

We have 3 sons, Kiefer 7, Kyler 5 and Kelby 3. Kiefer was given these water shoes from a friend last evening that are about 5 sizes too big. I even checked to see if they would fit me. They look like clown shoes on him. He was determined to wear them, told to leave them behind, and discovered on his feet 2 miles south of town. So back we go. Make that a 10 am departure from Grand Forks.

Kelby thinks we are going to Mexiyellico. He has been asking about Mexiyellico for about two months, and he is determined to go there or go back home. He emphatically denies he means Mexico. So if anyone knows how we can get to Mexiyellico, let me know and I'll try to work it in.

Somewhere near Alexandria we see our first signs of car sickness. Not motion sickness, just tired of sitting in the stupid car. Kyler finally can't take it anymore and asks, "When are we ever going to get to Fargo???"

Andi proved her adeptness at guiding us through MPS/St. Paul with the Minnesota map instead of the Minneapolis map. That cost us an hour. The plan was to cut south through Hastings, instead we took a tour of Woodbury. We drove the gorgeous Great River Road down to Lacrosse. Kelby has given up on us and now wants to go home.

It rained all day. It is a good thing the roof luggage bag I bought on E-Bay is waterproof, or our clothes would be a lot wetter than they are. Perhaps they will dry out some tonight.

Day one ends in Madison